Sunday, June 10, 2012

Yes, Reality Television Stars with Rock Star Aspirations(Part Two)

LuAnn de Lesseps
In 2010, TheReal Housewives of New York City's Countess LuAnn de Lesseps reminded the world that money can't buy class—but it can buy a heck of a lot of Auto-Tune. It's not clear why LuAnn was so set on a career in music, since what she did could best be described as Park Avenue pseudo-rap to tired early '90s beats.

Danielle Staub
Former Real Housewives of New Jersey star Danielle Staub has had many careers, among them a brief stint as a wannabe pop star in 2010. Her single "Real Close" was a duet with openly gay singer-songwriter Lori Michaels, and Staub didn't mind playing off rumors of a lesbian relationship for some extra press.

Kelly Osbourne
Kelly Osbourne's dishing out the disses on Fashion Police these days, but once upon a time she was just the child of a rock star who happened to become a household name after MTV aired their personal business. Osbourne tried to capitalize on the popularity of her family's reality show by releasing the album Shut Up in 2002, which made Avril Lavigne look like a true punk poet.

Lisa D'Amato
Having trouble remembering America's Next Top Model's Lisa D'Amato? She's best known for having a drunken conversation with an outdoor plant she dubbed "Cousin It" during her stint on the modeling competition show. She also tried her hand at white girl rap, releasing a music video for her song "Ace of Spades" to little fanfare.

Caridee English
In 2009, America's Next Top Model Cycle 7 winner CariDee English switched gears, leaving her reality TV hosting gig on Oxygen to focus on a recording career. While CariDee has yet to release a single, she's uploaded a Marilyn Manson cover song on YouTube and frequently posts updates about her drum sessions on her Twitter.

Simon Van Kempen
Simon Van Kempen has weathered his fair share of criticism as one of the stars of The Real Housewives of New York City, so it almost made sense when he issued a generalized diss track in 2011 as a response to the haters. Yeah, almost. It's difficult listening to Simon's track "I Am Real" without cringing for the sake of his kids.

Brooke Hogan
Brooke Hogan's first album Undiscovered was a moderate success, thanks to production from early '00s hitmaker Scott Storch. Hulk Hogan's daughter managed to sell over 100,000 copies, but her second full-length release The Redemption has only moved about 15,000 units since its 2009 release, despite cover art depicting Hogan as an airbrushed, winged angel.

DJ Pauly D
Paul "Pauly D" DelVechhio may have made his living as a DJ before reality fame set in, but it's kind of hard to tell based on his single "Beat Dat Beat." It includes lines like, "I'm so fresh I got a tanning bed in my house," and "There'll be no grenades tonight," appealing directly to the kinds of people who look up to the Jersey Shore kids as role models. He's now signed to G-Unit Records.

Daisy De La Hoya
In 2009, Rock of Love reject and VH1 veteran Daisy De La Hoya broke out a midi keyboard to record her anthem "Pretty Messed Up," which sounded a lot like the soundtrack to some kind of erotic video game circa 1992 with some screaming thrown in. She should have petitioned her pal Bret Michaels for some help, but he was probably too busy collaborating with Miley Cyrus.

The Situation
In the summer of 2010, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino released an eponymous rap single that seemed to be appealing to the clubs where he makes the majority of his income. Though The Sitch commands several thousand dollars per appearance, it's safe to say that he's not raking in the dough from his recording career.

Sheree Whitfield
In 2011, Real Housewives of Atlanta personality Sheree Whitfield decided to take her longstanding beef with fellow castmate NeNe Leakes into the studio, recording the unforgettable "Who Gon' Check Me Boo." Sample lines: "By now, I know that you Googled me / Wikipedia don't know what do with me." It's worth noting that Whitfield doesn't have her own Wiki page.

No comments:

Post a Comment